im someone who a lot of people go to for advice and rarely do i demand that the person Change Right Now because that honestly does not work

instead i keep in mind that humans are dynamic by nature, and ensure that change in the future is directed in the healthiest possible way.

honestly i feel like i really need to be in therapy still probably but since the last two therapists i saw in this gross ass pedophile town were like ideologically supportive of “”“”age differences”“”” in relationships “if they’re mature enough” i kind of am not feelin the idea of seein anyone here; my town has a liberal sexual culture and its position on multiple highway intersections makes it a hub for human trafficking.¬†

because sometimes i just think of sexual abuse and get very sad

and my heart should turn inside out when i think of injustice but i think the happier i am the more effective my activism is and the more i prioritise other things above my activism the happier i am

i can channel my negative emotions over having been passed around the country as the worlds cheapest prostitute into activism but i feel like im mostly just yelling lately

and theres not really any healing power in yelling impotently

i dont even know if its my own experiences im upset about right now it probably isnt really

i dont know if i need a therapist so much as

someone to talk to

which y may well become in time.

you know a lot of muslims tend to emphasise the whole honouring the family aspect of islam over all else but if we think about that that isn’t what the qur’an does that isn’t what’s in sunnah a lot of the sahabah killed their own family members because there was a war goin on so why do we act like theres never conflict between families when the qur’an repeatedly stresses the importance of siding with god and whats righteous over families who are in error

i told m not to be ashamed but in ms case there very much is a pr battle to be fought

here theres no one to concince but myself

my fam aint gonna think less of me just because i faked enthusiastic consent because i literally didnt know i could say no to sex

basically: even though my own reactions to finding oit about other peoples rapes, both fictionally and non fictionally, is to respect the hell out of them, i worry that since the actual point of rape is to humiliate someone in a way they’ll carry for their entire lives, that not everyone will feel that way?

like i have this very powerful and respectable image of myself i project

i just feel degraded when i talk about it

like i feel like itd be cool to just bring it up n be like, yea im glad i changed. but at the same time i dont want that ever? i just wanna talk to M honestly